And then I took a vacation with my cooler, better dad to Seattle and washed my clothes in soft water for the first time.

And when I washed them again, back home, all of my clothes felt disgusting and sticky. It turned out that the hippy-dippy magnolia-scented stuff from Costco, while definitely much gentler on my skin, was just as sticky as the normal stuff that doesn’t cater to crunchy granola chemophobes–if not worse. And I hadn’t realized how much it was leaving behind until getting my clothes properly clean in different water reset my expectations.

I can’t deal with sticky things. I hate finding residue on household surfaces or my hands. Syrup, oils, dust, splattered wax or bacon fat, any of it. Having my clothes come out of the washing machine all weird and gummy, when the machine’s sole function is to remove whatever got stuck to my clothes since last time, has been driving me batshit. When I fold my blankets after giving them what was supposed to be a deep clean before storage, I feel like I have to wash my hands between each one because all those little fluffy strands of microfiber cling to gunk. I am constantly stripping my laundry.

Stripping in hot water and baking soda helps, but it’s murder on my clothes. Especially because I feel like I have to constantly re-do it. And that doesn’t change that the washing machine isn’t cleaning my clothes.

After I swept out and scrubbed the basement to the extent that the clutter allowed (though I was inspired to do so because most of it had been cleared), I sat down in the basement and watched a quilt get cleaned on the quick wash cycle.

Don’t snitch on me to my grandmom, by the way, because if she knew I was putting quilts in a washing machine she might actually take a tone for once in her life, which I am not prepared for. Even though that advice comes from the days of washing machines with central agitators churning the clothes.

My high efficiency washer was barely using any water. Which it’s kind of supposed to do, but…it was barely using any water. As in, clothes were basically just getting damp, rather than properly saturated. That means that even with multiple rinses, any kind of detergent was not going to get washed out.

So no wonder I had been getting better results for a while, even with the detergent, using two large tubs and just washing by hand. But still not the desired results.

I ran the washer again, now on a delicate cycle. The wet quilt was heavier, so the machine gave me more water. Stopped and restarted. Now the soaked, heavy quilt tricked the machine into giving me enough water.

Which is to say that when you use water to wash your clothes, you’re going to need to use water to make the machine use enough water to wash your clothes. With water.

The easy way to do this is to start a cycle with nothing in the detergent and rinse drawers. Doesn’t matter what cycle as long as the temperature is acceptable. Let it add water and jiggle your clothes around a little.

Stop and start again when the first cycle switches from adding water to just agitating clothes. Let it repeat adding water.

When the second cycle switches from adding water, stop. Set the machine to your actual desired cycle, with baking soda instead of detergent, vinegar in the rinse compartment, lots of agitation (unless it’s delicates or a quilt) and as many extra rinses as the machine allows.

Then and only then can you let the machine do its thing and trust it to do the job properly.

This doesn’t actually defeat the purpose of a high-efficiency washer. It’s still using far less water. This is just about tricking the machine into using enough.